It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
