"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
