did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
