fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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