my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
