There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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