I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
