these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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