Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
