I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
