I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
