That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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