i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize