All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
