It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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