My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
