About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
