I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
