You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
