Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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