smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
