So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
