There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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