Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
