I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize