That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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