I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
