Nicole vs. Life
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i would punch a child for taco bell
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
