I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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