Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
God I need to hump something, right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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