ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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