I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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