so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
