Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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