just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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