where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I didn't notice because vodka
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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