i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
