She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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