I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
cat food counts as protein by the way
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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