If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
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We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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