Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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