He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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