if i can run in heels then i can drive
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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