There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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