he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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