oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's shark week go big or go home
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
