Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
