you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
