my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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