I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
