I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
