Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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