Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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