All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
