i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
