you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize