dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
