If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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