just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
