My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she told me i tasted like america
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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