ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
