Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man

(423): View more from Tennessee

1:48 am: your uglier

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.

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(207): View more from Maine

Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.

(1-207): View more from Maine

I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(719): View more from Colorado

it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.

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(936): View more from Texas

Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?

(713): View more from Texas

You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.

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