with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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