Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.

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(334): View more from Alabama

i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

(1-334): View more from Alabama

so you're single again?

(334): View more from Alabama

yea but it was worth it

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(520): View more from Arizona

She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(907): View more from Alaska

I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.

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(972): View more from Texas

the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.

(214): View more from Texas

elevator sex. pronto.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.

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