We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?