Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

only you would photoshop your dick

Fav 10 1286 4886
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

Fav 20 7379 2116
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.

Fav 10 3441 1164
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.

Fav 12 3171 1314
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend

Fav 5 4113 1252
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

Fav 8 1026 1681
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"

(1-775): View more from Nevada

At least you got your shooes

Fav 7 2112 924
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.

Fav 0 639 476
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag

Fav 1 98 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT