I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize