just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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